In this week’s Parsha, we are commanded “V’ahavta l’rei’echa kamocha, you shall love your neighbor like yourself. There is an obvious question here. What exactly does this mean? How is it possible to love someone else as we love ourselves? Isn’t that counterintuitive? After all, we are wired to fend and protect ourselves. We are wired to preserve ourselves and to look out for our own interests. So, how can it be? How could Hashem expect us to love someone just as we love ourselves?
I heard from my father, Rav Yitzchok Fingerer shlita that the Kedushas Levi, the great Rav Levi Yitzchok of Berditchev zt”l says that indeed we are not expected to love someone on the same level that we love ourselves. That would be impossible. Rather, Hashem is saying the same way you accept and respect yourself, the same way you love yourself, even though you have faults, deficiencies, and handicaps – I’m expecting you to love someone else despite their deficiencies and handicaps. Hashem is expecting us to love someone despite their faults. Hashem is saying love the other person despite their faults, like you love yourself despite your faults. V’ahavta l’reyacha, care for someone – kamocha, just as you care for yourself.
None of us are perfect. We all have imperfections and need corrections, but even so, we still love ourselves. We still love ourselves even though we are not perfect. Similarly, we must love others, even though they’re not perfect. When you come to love and accept someone, when you recognize someone – even with their weaknesses, you will see tremendous blessing.
The Chofetz Chaim zt”l was once traveling, and he stopped by an inn. He sat down to eat when suddenly a large man barged in, started cursing, and ate his food like an animal. When the man finished, the Chofetz Chaim started walking towards the man, who seemed to be Jewish. The innkeeper stopped the Chofetz Chaim and told him not to bother, because this man was a Cantonist. The man was taken away as a young child and forced to be in the Czar’s army for twenty-five years. Many people have tried to change and help this man before, but they have failed. His army years have distanced him tremendously from Yiddishkeit and turned him into a ruffian.
The Chofetz Chaim wasn’t daunted or afraid, and he went over to the man. He sat near him and asked him if he had been in the czar’s army for 25 years, and the man replied that it was true. The Chofetz Chaim said to him, “You must be a holy individual! It’s amazing how you were able to retain your Jewish identity after all those years of you having gone through countless beatings and being pressured to convert to Christianity.”
The Chofetz Chaim then said to the man, “You probably never had a chance to learn or daven when you were in the army, and yet still you held on. I wish I could have your merits. I wish I could have your portion in Olam Haba (the next world).” You are so special and holy! I wish I can be like you. The Cantonist burst into tears and embraced the Chofetz Chaim. The Chofetz Chaim continued and said, “You will go to Olam Haba, but since you never learned Torah and you aren’t keeping mitzvos, you will be embarrassed to be among all the great people. If you would improve in just a few areas, you can become so great and even holier!” Not long after, because of the Chofetz Chaim, the Cantonist turned his life around and did teshuvah. He returned to Yiddishkeit. Why? Because the Chofetz Chaim didn’t see his flaws or imperfections – he saw his merits and potential. Let’s find the good in others. Let’s love each other. Let’s elevate one another and become even greater!
