Vayimaen – Yosef Refused to Sin! How? What Gave him the Strength?
In this week’s Parsha, Yosef faced a huge test. He had the nisayon of a lifetime. His boss’s wife, Eishes Potifar, attempted to seduce him relentlessly and entice him to sin. She tried to get him to sin with her. Yosef was seventeen years old, all alone, and he had no one in the world watching him. His family was very far away, and he was the only Jew in the entire country. No one would ever find out if he sinned. Yosef was under insurmountable pressure – but Vayimaen- Yosef refused to sin. He didn’t succumb. He stood strong. The question is how? How did Yosef not capitulate and give in? How did Yosef control himself when he faced such a hard test? How did he maintain the moral integrity and stamina to not give in?
I heard from my father, Rav Yitzchok Fingerer shlita an incredible answer from the Nesivos Shalom, Rav Sholom Noach Berezovsky: When Yosef controlled himself the pasuk says Vayimaen – Yosef refused. Interestingly, there’s another time the Torah uses that same word Vayimaen. The word Vayimaen was said earlier in the Parsha (Bereishes 37:35), by Yaakov Avinu. When everyone thought that Yosef was dead and eaten by a wild animal, Yaakov was the only one who didn’t give up. The Torah says says Vayimaen L’hisnachem – Yaakov refused to be comforted. Yaakov refused to believe that Yosef was dead. He had faith and hope in Yosef.
The Nesivos Shalom says something so powerful. He says that the reason why Yosef refused, the reason why Yosef didn’t give in, was because his father Yaakov never gave up on him. Since Yaakov refused to give up, Yosef didn’t give up. Yosef refused to sin because he felt the faith from his father. The Vayimaen of his father gave him the courage and fortitude to also say Vayimaen.
The lesson is so powerful. If we have one person who has faith in us, we will be able to persevere through any challenge. If there is someone that has faith in us, we can pass any test. The question is, who has faith in us? We must have someone to look up to. We need to have someone who believes in us. It can be a Rebbi, a teacher, a parent, or a friend. It’s not only that. We must also ask ourselves who we have faith in. It can be a child, a student, or a friend. We must show others that we care about them and that we are there for them. We must feel for others. If we have faith in someone, we can help them get through anything.
There was a woman who had a son who was very disrespectful and rebellious. One day she decided that she had enough. She gave up on her kid. She called her sister who lived in another town and said, “I’m begging you, please take my son as your foster child.” The woman had six children of her own, and they were not the easiest kids. She really didn’t want to take her nephew into her house. The boy’s mother persisted and said, “There is nobody else in the world; you are my only sister. If you don’t take him, I’ll have to give him up to a stranger and that would be awful.” The sister agreed and took the boy in. The boy behaved terribly and was a horrible example for the rest of the family. Every day was a struggle and a constant battle.
The aunt’s husband taught in the local yeshivah where this boy learned. The principal of the yeshiva tried his best to cope with the kid, but one day he decided that he had enough. He called up the aunt and said, “I feel awkward talking to your husband because he is a teacher in our school; so, I am talking to you. I cannot tolerate this child anymore. I must expel him.” At first, the aunt was very happy. She thought this could be an excuse for her to get out of the responsibility of taking care of her nephew. She would tell her sister that he was expelled. Then something happened. She stood strong. She said to the principal, “If you expel my nephew, my husband is quitting his job. You will have to look for a new teacher.” The principal was shocked and couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He decided to give the boy a probation and another chance.
Later that day, the boy came home and looked his aunt right in the eye. The principal told the boy about the conversation. He asked his aunt, “Is it true? Did you really put my uncle’s job on the line to save me? Is it true that you were willing to risk your whole livelihood, the bread on your table, just for me?” With tears in her eyes, the aunt said, “It’s true.” The boy was never the same. This act of kindness helped him turn his life around. He turned a new leaf and became a new person. Why? Because he had someone who had faith in him. He had someone who didn’t give up on him. When someone has faith in another, he can get through anything!
