In this week’s Parsha, Yaakov passes away. The Shevatim were very nervous. They were afraid of a vendetta from Yosef. They suspected that previously Yosef was only kind to them because their father was alive. However, now that their father passed away, they thought that Yosef might retaliate and fight against them after what they did to him. Therefore, the brothers went to Yosef and told him that Yaakov said he should forgive them. Yosef was magnanimous, benevolent, and kind, and he said al tira’u – don’t be afraid, vayenachem osam – he comforted them and promised to sustain and help them.
However, there was one problem. Yosef may have comforted his brothers but there was one thing that he didn’t do. I heard from my father, Rav Yitzchok Fingerer shlita that the Rabbeinu Bachaye points out that Yosef never said the three important words, “I forgive you.” Yosef made his brothers feel better, but he never said, “I forgive you.” He never openly forgave them.
Therefore, the Rabbeinu Bachaye says that later in history the brothers had to be reincarnated as the Asarah Harugei Malchus – the ten martyrs. They were subjected to great pain and suffering because they never got a full and open forgiveness from Yosef.
We must learn and try to be more forgiving. We may have family members or friends who have hurt us. We may have grievances against those who have pained us. Sometimes we may pretend that we’ve forgiven them while deep down we didn’t. It’s important to say the words I forgive you, belev shalom – with a full heart. Let’s try to make peace with others and to put aside our differences.
In the 1600’s There was a man named Herschel. He was about to get married, and he traveled to his future wife’s hometown. When he arrived, the kallah’s family put him up in a neighboring house. Herschel was preparing for the wedding. He was ready for one of the biggest days of his life. On the day before the wedding, he looked out the window and he saw his kallah outside near her parents’ home. She was in the kitchen with a chicken. She took the chicken that she was trying to prepare, but the chicken started giving her a hard time. It tried running away.
Suddenly, Herschel’s future wife angrily flacks and whacks the chicken. Herschel was watching this, and he started to get all scared. He said, “First it’s the chicken and then it’s me!” What will happen if I step out of line a little? Help!!” Herschel realized that she had a pretty bad temper. She wasn’t the girl that he thought she was. Herschel realized that he couldn’t marry the girl. She was too dangerous. The only problem was that he didn’t want to break up the shidduch the day before the wedding. He didn’t want to embarrass and humiliate the girl!
Herschel came up with a plan. Later that day Herschel went into the town shul before mincha, and he walked up to the pushka. The pushka was full to the brim and Herschel started pocketing the money. He pretended that he wanted to make sure no one was looking but he made sure that people saw.
People saw him taking money and they screamed, “Ganef! Thief! Get him!” All the men started running towards him. Herschel threw the money on the floor and ran out of the shul. Suddenly the girl’s father entered the shul. He was a giver and an influential person in town. They told him that his future son-in-law was a thief. They caught him stealing money and he ran away. With that the shidduch was officially called off.
Can you imagine what Herschel did? He put himself through the greatest shame! Not one person realized what had really happened! Why did he do this? Herschel did this so that the girl’s father should pronounce that shidduch is over. Herschel ended the marriage in a way that would preserve the girl’s dignity.
Hashem always rewards those who think about and care for others. Herschel ended up becoming a great Torah giant, he was known as the Rebbe Rav Herschel, the great Rav Herschel of Krakow! Why did Hashem bless him with such siyata deshmaya (success)? Because he kept the peace. He was sensitive to other’s needs. He pursued peace. Let’s work on being more caring, loving, and forgiving people, and in that merit may we all see the ultimate redemption in our days! Join our email list or send feedback by emailing [email protected]. Have an uplifting Shabbos!
