In this week’s Parsha (19:18) we are commanded “V’ahavta l’rei’echa kamocha, you shall love your neighbor like yourself.” I would like to share with you two questions: Why does the Torah stipulate kamocha – to love someone like yourself? Wouldn’t it have been sufficient to say, V’ahavta l’rei’echa– love your neighbor? Secondly, how can we love someone as we love ourselves? Isn’t that counter-intuitive? After all, we are wired to fend and protect ourselves, to preserve ourselves, to look out for our own interests. How could Hashem expect us to love someone just as we love ourselves?
I would like to share with you a beautiful answer that resolves both questions: I heard from my father, Rav Yitzchok Fingerer shlita: The Kedushas Levi says that indeed we are not expected to love someone on the level that we love ourselves that would be impossible. Rather, Hashem says the same way you accept and respect yourself, the same way you love yourself, even though you have deficiencies and handicaps and faults, kamocha – I’m expecting you to love someone else despite their deficiencies and handicaps. I’m expecting you to love someone despite their faults. V’ahavta l’reyacha, care for someone – kamocha, just as you care for yourself. Even though you’re not perfect, love someone else, even though they’re not perfect. When you come to love and accept someone, when you recognize someone, even with their weaknesses, you will see tremendous strengths.
A beautiful story that highlights this point of brotherly love: There was a story told of two childhood friends. One of the friends became a spy, but one day he was caught and sentenced to death. As the executioner was preparing to hang the man, the man begged, “Please let me go back and say goodbye to my family!” Not trusting that he would come back, the executioner insisted that this man should find himself a replacement to guarantee his return. If he did not come back, the guarantor would die instead of him.
Of course, when the man asked his old childhood friend to serve as his guarantor, the friend agreed. The day arrived on which the spy was supposed to return for his hanging but to everyone’s ultimate dismay, he was not back! The clock was moving faster and faster to the time of the hanging. Suddenly to everyone’s surprise a carriage zoomed into the marketplace where the execution was to take place.
The Spy leaped out from the carriage, screaming, “Stop I’m back! Don’t kill my friend, I’m here!” So, the executioner removed the noose from the friend and began to place it on the neck of the spy. The guarantor then began to shout and cry out, “No, no hang me! Let my friend live!” Then the spy cried out, “No kill me!” The king, who was watching the scene unfold, called the proceedings to a halt. The king summoned the two friends and praised them for their devotion to one another. He then offered to pardon the spy, on one condition: that they include him in their circle of relationship. We must try our best to love our fellow brothers and sisters. Let’s be optimistic seeing the merits, not the flaws.
